Profound disappointment.

Either people have an incredible tendency to disappoint or I overestimate them. Love is not a sometimes thing. It is an always thing. And you can only love so many people before you’re lying about who it is you really love.

One will never read.

There is too much to say to put in these measly sentences.

My words would love to dance then to lye line by line.

Words of sorrow,

words of joy,

words of apathy,

words of love,

words of hate,

words of everything you say to me.

Yes, they contradict, but like a being they are all different.

Coming from me they are nothing, but reminders of past reflections.

But as you read you connect or disconnect.

My words could be reassuring to one and pointless to another.

The thing is that I write for one and that one will never read my words.

What a downer it can be to reminded that until they read my words all I will be is a pathetic bag of meat.

For now I post my frustrations and dreams online for others and maybe just maybe for that one to be guided by fate and find my words.

The only problem is that I don’t believe in fate.

Humanity.

humanity is probably the most foul, disgusting, dirty species. we are by far the most selfish, narcissistic, self-serving, loathing, prejudiced, diseased species. we are supposed to be the smartest but we are also the most uncivilized.

family is nothing. friends. love. none of those exist. they are all aspects of society, not the soul. there is not one person in this world i would trust to be there for me in any condition. when you have to choose two paths you always choose the one best for you and not the other person. no way around it.

we gossip and we lie and we hit and tease and trash. we’re destructive and cruel, vicious and bitter. it has never been a matter of kind and unkind, right and wrong. it is a matter of what is good for ourselves as opposed to the masses. people’s position on good and evil always changes based on what position they are in.

rules don’t exist. we bend them. we break them. we go through them. we only follow them when they aid our cause. we are only faithful when it serves our purpose. we are only kind to others when it does no damage to ourselves.

unconditional love, unbending morality, compassion in spite of hatred, these things are all myths. myths created by mankind to help us better deal with the selfish decisions we make on a daily basis. myths to add a little color to a black and white world where light only shines on ourselves and others are only there for the purpose of making our worlds unempty. everything is for the individual. nothing is for the common good.

we are all the victims and villains of our own stupidity, ourselves, and each other.

Pleading the fifth.

I won’t be standing up for long, I better learn how to crawl. Ten minutes and I’ll be laying out flat on the floor.

Eight minutes from losing it a little bit. Five minutes your description might be starting to fit. Three to go and I’m forgetting all that I’ve ever known. I won’t be standing up for long I better learn how to crawl.

Here’s to problems, fixations, and human weakness. I suppose we all have some sort of sleeping giant in us waiting to be prodded. Never one for moderation, I set mine on fire.